eh

Fuck it, I'm not eating.

Hate is my other half

I've gained so much I want to die, or burst out in uncontrolable tears at random moments. The holidays should die, stuffing fucking food down out throats till we burst. Its like I've been on a fucking continuous binge.
So, I've made up a meal plan that I have to stick to every day:

Breakfast
-fruit
OR
-porridge
OR
-high fibre cerial
-unsweetened coffee or tea

Lunch
-fruit
OR
-salad
OR
-vita-wheat crackers with lettus or something

Dinner
-salad
OR
-vegetables

Snacks
-fruit/veg
OR
-vita-wheat crackers

I have to be more strict on my veganism. No more eating foods that I know have animal products in them. Its not enough that that I cut out meat, cheese and milk, I have to read the ingredients on all food packets like I used to.

None of my clothes fit right, I went from a 14 down to and 8 (almost) and now I'm back to 10s and 12s. Fucking kill me. How did I ever find something that looked ok to wear with all this bulging fat? It has to go.

I want to go back to school because I can drown in my uniform shirt that is about 4 sizes too big and hides my fat rolls, though I don't like the way it drapes from my boobs, makes me look like one of those old ladies with massive boobs and ungly t-shirts.
Anyhoo, the other thing that is good about school is that food isn't taunting me from the cupboard. I never bring money to school so I can't buy it and most of my friends food is not vegan friendly.

I haven't posted in so long because I have been ashamed of myself. Lets hope I can change that.