My weight refuses to go down and it doesn't help that my parents keep shoving food down my throat.
I saw two of my friends yesterday that I haven't seen in maybe a month or two and they kept going on about how much weight I had lost. One friend kept touching my hips in amazement and hugged me and said; "I can fit my arms around you twice!" She couldn't actually, she was exaggerating. It never ceases to amaze me that people think I look good, think I look skinny, are they wearing blinders or something? What about my flabby arms, pot belly, jelly thighs and fat face? It makes me think that people are laughing about me behind my back. Paranoia sucks.
Also the other day one of my old friends (I don't talk to them anymore because they were bitches to me) told me how 'hot' I've been looking lately. So she wants to be nice to me now? I'll smile and say thank you while internally hating you.
I positively detest eating but All-Bran with light soy milk is good for emptying one's insides...
Even though it helps me lose in the long run when I eat it I still feel so depressed after eating it.
Chewing gum is my saviour, though it tends to make my jaw hurt...hope I don't get arthritis.
Next Saturday is my best friend's 18th birthday party. I hope its good and I don't get all anxious and antisocial like I usually do before going to parties. I want to go and I want to have fun but on the day I'll be trying to think of any excuse I can not to go. Vodka Cruisers have approximately 210 calories os 210x4 = 840 cal and no hangover. The no hangover part is good but the 840 calories part is not...
One problem when I'm drunk is that I tend to become very honest, I'm going to have to concentrate on not giving anything about my ED away.
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The same things happen to me. People tell me i'm thin or i look good, and i can't help but think they're lying to me just to laugh at me behind my back. (whisper, whisper, "i told her she's skinny," "you what? look how fat she is" giggle, "i know, but if she believes me isn't that funny?") Fortunately for me, i never believe them. *hugs* Stay strong, my dear.
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