I am sooo fat right now. Why do people make me eat? Why do they all keep going on about how 'thin' they think I am? When they say that it just makes me think about how much more I need to lose and how fucking blind the population is.
I was talking with my friend yesterday and I think she is suspicious of my weight loss. She kept commenting on all the girls walking past; saying how horrible they looked because she thinks they are too thin and how they need curves. I was just sitting there making sounds of agreement while internally thinking about how wrong the is and what a pathetic attempt to try and discourage me. None of them have any idea what it is like inside my head.
Another friend today kept going on about how 'tiny' she thought I was. Compared to her maybe, she is a fucking whale. But me? Tiny? Seriously? Not possible. I'm not even down to 50 kg yet. And my waist is fucking massive! 28.5 inches! How do people think that is small? Small is more like 20 inches thank you very much bitches.
Ehhh...I feel soo depressed lately. My meds aren't working. Do they want me depressed to the point of dysfunction and suicide?
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I agree so much. I really think you took that entire first paragraph straight out of my brain.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, sweetheart.