Change

I just got back from a long walk around my town. I feel so fucking paranoid that everyone is watching me, laughing at me. Ug.
I walked around where I used to live until I was about 11. The area has changed so much! Houses added to and changed, what used to be empty fields now filled with massive houses. My old house looks completely dero.
It all makes me think; have I changed as much as this place has or has it all become so unfamiliar that I hardley recognise it. Change is inevitable but can be a bitch. Life was so much more simple when I lived there. I do remember always feeling different and always feeling depressed but back then it didn't seem so bad. I never self harmed, I didn't have as much trouble with eating (though I think I did over eat >.< ). I do always remember hating my body but it never really mattered because I never did anything about it...apart from cry, alot, but I never did try starving myself. Everything I tryed to do to lose weight was healthy but never worked. And now here I am; still fat, still depressed, fucked in the head even more.
Hoorah for change :\