Fuck I hate my periods, they make me sore and make me fucking EAT. I don't want to. My diet is fucking ruined and all I want to do is cry.
I have realized that I have developed a habbit of punching my fat. I punch my stomach and thighs when I'm pissed off at how they look and I punch them when I binge. And it wont fucking bruise! I want it to bruise! Why do I want it to bruise? I hit pretty bloody hard but still nothing. I punch my fat as if it is it's fault that I binged. I'm just weak, the scars on my arm spell that out to me.
No more food now and definitely no food tomorrow. Food is such a disgusting word.
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That's what the stupid hormones do to us all. Make us hurt and eat and hurt because we eat. Ugh. Hang in there. One binge will not ruin everything you're working for if you just ignore it and continue on the good track.
ReplyDeleteHmmm i never punch the fat... but i do pinch it extremely hard. I thought i was the only one abusive to my fat...