I got away with a salad the other night when we went out so that was good and I'm almost back on track for what losertown.org says I should be. That site is great, you put in your weight and stuff and how many calories you plan to eat everyday and how much exercize you do and it tells you how much you should weigh every week. I'm about 1/2 kg higher than what losertown says I should be (stupid binge days fucking up my calories)but I feel ok.

I've finally got past the plateau my weight was hanging around and I'm down to 56.5kg. It's good but I still look incredibly fat. It's about 17 weeks until my birthday now so I've got that long to get to 48kg...or 45kg...depending on how I look. I think I can do it because 17 weeks sounds like a long time.

Went grocerie shopping with mum on the weekend and she's bought all this fresh fruit for me because she knows I'm trying to eat only raw foods (except for my coffee...I adore my coffee). I don't want to eat any of it but if I don't I feel really bad because she bought it for me. So, I'm going to have one or two bits of fruit or veg for dinner every night. I've been turning them into smoothies because I don't feel as anxious drinking than I do when I eat. What I had last night was pretty good, it was;
banana
dates
wallnuts
water
vanilla
I just chuck it all in the blender and mix it up. I don't think mum likes me drinking instead of eating but it was food in the first place...now it's just mooshed food you can fit through a straw...

I think I need to wear more baggy clothes because mum asked me if I've lost weight again, I said no but I really don't think she believed me. She was underweight when she was my age so why can't she leave me alone?

Thanks for your comments, they are love.
‘Quod me nutrit me destruit’